Please Press 1 for Stupid.

Once again some of my fellow Americans, or perhaps what I mean is Amuricans* have gotten themselves all in a fuss over well. Nothing. But they sure are making something out of it. And the media is right there to help you all out too, gas you right up into a massacre if you lambs aren't careful. All because Coke had the nerve to air a commercial of America the Beautiful sung in a language not...American. What ever that means. Coke...the same company that had you humming along with "I'd like to teach the WORLD to sing" now should probably amend that to "Only the United States of America" ?????

a snapshot of some of the shared opines of our loyal American brethren in response to the commercial....

Ya know....unless I missed something? There is no such thing as the Americanish Language. You Patriots have been speaking a foreign language since ohhh the day some of your ancestors fled another country to come claim a country that belonged to someone else.  Remember that place across the ocean where Queens still pretend to rule? England ringing any bells???? The rest of your ancestors not lucky enough to be Brit born, hail from some OTHER foreign country. And they came by the droves to the FREE WORLD. And They spoke their native tongue, and learned others as well - England = English, Spain = Spanish. France =French. So on and so on, you know how it goes!  see the connection? America??? hmmmmm???? No AMERICANISH. And do you really not understand those other languages have shaped the Dialect of our country? Go to the mid west and you hear the Scandinavian settlers, New England and up into the east coast of Canada sounds ironically much like their Celtic ancestors that fled Scotland and Ireland, We have the Dutch in Pennsylvania, and the French in the bayou of the South. All over the Map we can trace the settlements of the Immigrants that came to create the USA. Wars, territories, treaties, blood, sweat, tears, and more! suffered by many races are what produced this Nation. Not a select few of "American" only people. They never existed. The first American's were here when the ships landed. The 2nd generation were born here after their Foreign Born parents conceived them.

Rule #1 - start speaking Americanish before we get to shore! Or you don't get off the boat....

And again, some should be smart enough to weave that all together, however no. No, sadly instead of embracing the part of our history that makes us diverse, some choose to grasp the side that makes us Assholes. Somehow you take claim now on this country to the point that songs can not be sung unless in a language you deem.....but you fail to see the hypocrisy. You Eat foods that had their names translated so you would understand, right? Do you not sing music, and Christmas songs that were translated from other languages so you could understand them??? And famous books that were translated as well, no one came and said NO! YOU can only read that if you read it in the language it was written! If you can't, TOO BAD. Imagine there was no King James Bible, read it in old Hebrew or you don't get to go to heaven. Yet today you pound your fist in outrage because a song about our country, dared to be sung in another, GASP* language.

And what's that???? YOU all want to press 1 for English???? Uhhh, nope. That would be press 1 for NATIVE AMERICAN.  See none of you complainers have bothered to learn the language of this country your damn selves but ya sure have a lot to say about what others should do.  How about until there is a Rosetta stone to crack the code on some long forgotten AMERICANISH, all you whiny babies do the rest of us a favor, and shut up. Because as a matter of fact, I don't speak Whinish. Ask my kids.  As I wrap this up, remember, there is perhaps ONE language we all do speak after all. Longfellow said it best: "Music is the universal language of mankind", some people just forgot is all.

Music is the universal language of mankind.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/universal_language.html#kHUjtQovlfXMwU6R.99

 

* Amurican

According to Urban Dictionary: (n) An American nationalist who believes so firmly in America that when one has stated an aspect of another culture is superior to America's equivalent, they have committed the ultimate sin. Amurican's hold a similar belief about those who have admire and respect of a nation that, at one time or another, has defied us, this includes: Russia, Germany, Dems, Japos in China, Great Britain, France, Aladdin, and the Mexicanese. Amuricans can be recognized by a trucker hat, sleeveless tee-shirt, raging hard-ons when in the presence of nice cars, and still finding the phrase "Git-r-done" Hi-frickin'-larious.

 

Amurican 1 - "I saw my boy, Larry, playin' ninja with his friends, I told him that he shouldn't act like that because those Chinas bombed our Pearl Harbor."

Amurican 2 - "I shot my wife when she said she liked rice better than corn..."